Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi   

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton  

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope 

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1  bananosecond          

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram    

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour:  Knot-furlong           

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year      

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon   

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz             

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower   

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line. 

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake   

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone  

1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles       

2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds 

10 cards: 1 decacards     

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton   

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen    

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche       

1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin             

10 rations: 1 decoration             

100 rations: 1 C-ration  

2 monograms: 1 diagram           

8 nickels: 2 paradigms    

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League   

100 Senators: Not 1 decision